How do you be vulnerable?

Listening to research-based self-improvement books is a hobby of mine. One of my favorite authors is Brene Brown who wrote on the power of vulnerability. As I listened to the book, it quickly became apparent that I had built up walls and needed to become more vulnerable. The question was, “how do you be vulnerable?”

Even though I came to understand the idea of vulnerability and how it looked in other people’s lives, I realized those examples didn’t translate well to my life. I’ve learned that when I’m not sure about something within myself, I need to watch myself for a while. I do this in two ways, 1) I try to relive moments in my mind and see what feelings it invokes, 2) I pay attention to how I feel in real time. After doing these exercises I was able to figure out when I life was giving me an opportunity to be vulnerable. It’s when I hesitate to say or do something because something inside me is afraid of how I’ll be received. I have come to believe that if there isn’t some level of discomfort that I’m not actually being vulnerable.