Are the same experiences required for empathy?

Roby Poteau
Written by Roby Poteau on
Are the same experiences required for empathy?

I have had several discussion in the past few month about people with charmed lives. These are people for whom life was relatively easy, not necessarily perfect, but low resistance. For example, consider a person who’s slightly overweight who decides to start working out and with a little instruction develops a habit and physique. Another example, what is the person who find “the [actual] one” the first time they date. Now imagine this is how this person lives most of there lives, this is what we described as a charmed life. It’s not to say that these people do not experience difficulties, it’s to suggest they don’t experience any major difficulties that they cannot overcome through will and wit. These people do not necessarily understand the struggle that many others have with building a habit or ending multiple relationships. They haven’t experienced what it means to struggle in these areas without a positive outcome. All this to say, they cannot empathize with a non-insignificant portion of the population.

This lead me to wonder what is the connection is between empathy and experience. I believe the answer to this question is yes, though not necessarily the exact same scenario, but the same feelings and parallel. For example, someone who feels trapped in a marriage might be able to empathize with an addict, given they both have experienced some level of hopelessness. Likewise, someone who is struggling with opening up because they’ve been burned emotionally might be able to relate to a person who’s afraid to connect because they’ve been lost their closest relationships to death.

Keeping in mind these examples, I don’t know if I believe you can effectively empathize without some comparative experience. Even if you believe your story compares, the other person needs to believe you understand their experience also.

Roby Poteau

Roby Poteau

Sharing thoughts and meditations to anyone interested in hearing them.

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